I've kinda mentioned it, but after finding out what Trainer S didn't do with Cinder, I feel into a depressive episode. In her long winded explanation for not riding my horse, S mentioned how aggressive Cinder was, how hot she is, and that S didn't feel like Cinder would be a good match for me. Logically I know that this was someone who knowingly screwed me over trying to justify said screwing, but her words go to me. I mean Cinder is my first baby, I don't really know what I'm doing. Maybe I did pick a bad match. Maybe I am not a good enough rider for her.
But other than making nasty face at dinner time (mare can get hangry!) I've never really seen an aggressive side to Cinder. She can be stubborn, and rude for sure (I mean she is a chestnut mare), but aggressive? Not so much. At TCF friend A's mom, who is not really a horse person, is comfortable leading Cinder to and from turnout. The mare lives for head scratches and will be your BFF for life for the price of a cookie. If she was aggressive with S, I'm assuming it's because S was aggressive with her and they had a major personality conflict.
Trainer A on the other hand, absolutely adores Cinder. In her words, Cinder is a really cool horse, a diamond in the rough. She told me that Cinder is her favorite to ride out of the horses she has in training. A currently has 3, three coming four year old mares in training and while Cin is the greenest, she's the most comfortable, the most balanced, and the fastest learner.
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| Just in case you thought she was always perfect |
I know A could just be blowing me up, but I don't get that impression from her. She seems very honest, almost blunt. I get the feeling that if Cinder was actually aggressive she wouldn't hesitate to let me know and work to correct the issue. Time will tell if Cinder and I will be a good match, but I feel better that my impression of Cinder was correct, and that I'm not completely blind to her supposed faults.
I'm a firm believer that even the best trainers in the world aren't a good match for every single horse, and that may just be what happened here. I would trust your gut and keep an open mind going forward, she sounds like a good egg that's figuring out her place in the world now that she's in the right spot.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry your trainer betrayed your confidence like that, and tried to do some emotional sabotage on the way out. That is more than just unprofessional - it's cruel.
ReplyDeleteI had a trainer once tell me very similar things about Tristan, and it broke my heart. I had trusted her deeply to that point but loved my horse. It was devastating. I went with my gut, and that was 12 years ago. I'd rather have Tristan than that trainer any day.
I don't really think there's any way of knowing if you and your just barely broke horse will be a good match, and it was completely irresponsible of the first trainer to tell you otherwise.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad Cinder is on the right path now. I'm excited to keep following your journey together.
I also had a similar experience with my mare. This particular trainer was pushing for me to put the horse in full training with her, then sell her and split the sales price...sigh..totes red flags.
ReplyDeleteMan, everyone here has great words. For right now, in the ways that matter, I think you and Cinder are a GREAT match. You've done your best -- to the point of paying for training twice -- to get her an excellent foundation in ground work and a good start. You've consistently made the choices that are right for her re: barns, feed, moving, allergens, treats!
ReplyDeleteHuge bummer about S, but I'm glad you're bouncing back from those hurtful words of hers. Excited to see Cinder and A progress over the next few weeks too!
I wonder if S was simply putting her own fears/insecurities on to you? Whatever the case, I would try really hard to not let it get into your head - she wasn't honest with you with anything else regarding Cinder's training.
ReplyDeleteYou already know how I feel about S, much the same I feel about TrT. It's a journey and you'll figure it out as you go along and there is nothing wrong with that.
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