Looking Forward 2016

My main goal of 2016: Buy a new pony!! Everything else, shows, clinics, lessons, my life, is going to be on hold till that happens.

Only current source of horsepower 

McKenna left on Sunday and for the first time in almost 16yrs I don't have a horse. It's very weird to not have to go to the barn every day, to not think about who is going to take care of her when I'm on vacation (currently visiting family in NorCal), and not trying to plan lessons or what our riding schedule will be for the week. 

I had planned to look at a horse while down visiting my family but the seller never emailed me back. But there is a gelding about an hour from home that looks promising so when I get back trainer and I will try to coordinate schedules to go look at him. Another girl in the barn has been horse shopping for a few months now and she and trainer have weeded out a few I was potentially interested in. A is looking for her first horse so she needs more of a packer while I don't but we'll probably be looking at a few of the same ponies. But pony shopping for others is just as much fun as pony shopping for yourself. 

It's a Christmas Miracle!

McKenna's vet check didn't go so well. Their vet said she tested positive with the hoof testers on her front feet. And in his report the vet said it was possible navicular and he recommended X-rays. They didn't want to put that money into her and backed out.

 I was a little pissed that he went right to a possible worst case scenario when it could be a dozen different things. I know her feet are super soft right now from all the rain, and my farrier said almost all the horses he's done lately have been that way and some have been tender footed because of it. She doesn't look lame when I lunge her and feels fine under saddle. I'm also not super fond of this vet as I used him years ago and he butchered Phoenix's teeth so I'm trying not to hold that against him.

I dropped her price because I WANT HER GONE and even posted to Instagram and FB that I was willing to give her away. My mom, who has offered to help finance my next pony, told me to give her away and not worry about the money.  They saw the post, and thought it over, and said they'd take her home if I was serious about giving her away. I thought it over and I know they're a good home and considering I got her for free I thought it was fitting that I pass her on for free. So they'll call me tomorrow and we'll work the finer point out.

I'm just so happy to have her gone. As much as I like her on the ground and her personality and her talent but I absolutely dislike riding her. I don't have to dread riding her or feel guilty for not riding her anymore.

This, That, and the Other

Mckenna has her PPE scheduled for Wednesday and I've seriously considered wrapping her head to toe in bubble wrap. I haven't done a whole lot with her this week, the weather has been awful; windy, rainy, and cold. Even with the indoor it's not exactly weather I want to ride in.

I've slowly, nor not so slowly, started perusing DreamHorse and may or may not have set an appointment to go look at a horse when I visit my cousin in NorCal at New Years. A little premature but hey, a girl's got to do something when it's 38* outside with 30mph winds and sideways rain.

Finger and Toes

My friend's client came to try McKenna yesterday. I had had a short and sweet lesson in the morning but we figured the mare would have plenty of energy to go twice. My friend BS got on her first, to show McKenna off and so I could see her ride her. She's ridden the mare a couple of times when I was on vacation and it's always nice to see it.

Unfortunately the mare was a bit of a twit and was getting upset with BS. I think part of it was "You're not mom!" and part of it was that BS was getting after her about things I don't. But McKenna has to learn how to handle other riders. The client, a 16yr old girl who is currently eventing novice/moving up to training, wasn't discouraged at all and eagerly climed up.  She was a very soft rider and McKenna seemed to like her. The mare was a bit jazzed and took off a couple times but the girl handled it really well. Apparently her mare is a huge bucker and she's got the ultimate sticky seat. 

I was slightly pissed at the antics the mare pulled but as I was untacking her the girls mom started talking to about scheduling a pre purchase exam. I guess the girl likes fiesty horses and already loved McKenna. So they'll call their vet tomorrow and hopefully we can schedule the PPE this week. I'm currently crossing all fingers and toes and praying to the gods of PPE!!

She is Herself

In the days after Phoenix was put down I was pretty numb. I had things planned and friends to take me out, but all I wanted was time alone with my horse. I wanted to just sit in the saddle, dink around, and generally not do a whole hell of a lot. I got on McKenna three or four days after that day and I know I can't expect that kind of ride out of her. She's just not that type of horse, especially after almost a week off at that point. But I had a lesson scheduled for the next day and figured I should maybe prep for it.

I turned her out while I did her stall and then lunged her before getting on. She didn't play as much as she usually does and was actually really quiet on the lunge line. I got on thinking that maybe, just maybe, on the day I needed it most she would be that quiet easy ride. We walked around on the buckle and picked up a pretty poky trot. She was soft in my hand, just putzing along and I started to relax. Then we came around the corner and she took off like a bat out of hell. We circled back around at the walk and again she bolted out of the corner. Brought her down again and came back to it and she started to go up. I called her some very, very bad names and jumped off. Put her back on the line where she proceeded to try and relive her racing days. I'm not proud of it, but I might have let my anger and grief get to me and chased her a bit with the lunge whip. 

She ran for a solid 15mins and ended up blowing and covered in sweat. Some part of me was grateful that I had clipped her the week before but most of me was furious that she wasn't Phoenix. The ONE day I needed an easy ride and she turns into crazy mare. Luckily the fury had me fired up and not in tears so I got back on and proceeded to immediately put her to work. Lateral work, transitions, changes of direction, serpentines, circles....you name it we did it. It wasn't our best work ever but I got a good 20mins w-t-c out of it. 

Over the past few weeks we've had some good rides and some like the ones above. It still saddens me that she's not Phoenix or Buddy, that she's not the solid broke horse that can take care of me when I need it most. After having her for two years I would have thought we would be past this point. But it has cemented the fact that I want her gone; that she's NOT the horse for me. I have been going back and forth because she is an awesome horse but not MY awesome horse.  I've come way down in her price, basically taking offers at this point. I do have two people wanting to see her this weekend, one of which is my friend's student which would be great because I'd could keep tabs on her. 

It's weird thinking that I won't have a horse of my own once she sells. I've either leased or owned a horse for almost 16yrs straight, and 6 of those I had multiple horses at a time. I still have goals and want to show; I don't want to take a break even if part of me thinks I should. But I need something more like Buddy or Phoenix. I need that steady eddy, not a wild child. 

March 21, 1995-November 17, 2015

I got the call that no horse owner wants to get Tuesday afternoon.  Phoenix was down and thrashing. I flew out of work, called my regular vet, and tried to think positive thoughts during the 45min drive between work and where Phoenix lived. 

Phoenix lived with my dental vet, PO, but it was her husband who found him down.  PO wasn't at home but he called her after calling me.  Husband isn't a super horse savvy guy, but he knows enough.  He got Phoenix up and walking while waiting for us to get there.

Once I got out to their place, I knew.  Phoenix looked absolutely miserable, covered in mud and sweat, shaking, thick green snot in both nostrils, straining hard to poop, and his breathing sounded like a rattle. PO got home just after I got there and while she's a vet, she only does teeth so she didn't have all the supplies to treat him.  My regular vet who was on his way said it was fine for her give him banamine so she did.  He was so dehydrated that it took her multiple tries to get his vein. We then put a sheet on him, as it had started to rain, and walked him for the next 20mins till my vet showed up.

After examining Phoenix, my vet wasn't optimistic.  He did give him more drugs and tubed him and left us with the instructions to watch Phoenix and call him back if things got worse.  PO's husband brought folding chairs out and we sat in the run next to Phoenix drinking beer and waiting.  Even with a full dose of meds on board, he never stopped straining and the spark never came back to his eyes.  I went in to his stall a few times and cuddled and talked to him but he never acknowledged me.  Phoenix was always the biggest attention whore in the barn.  He would leave food to come over for kisses and scratches, would hang his head on your shoulder while cleaning stalls, and generally loved to be around people.  There was absolutely no evidence of that.

After talking with PO and working myself up I finally called the vet back after about an hour. We talked about how Phoenix wasn't a surgical candidate, but that I could take him to the OSU vet school and put him on fluids and see if he got better.  Both my vet and I agreed that doing that would most likely only postpone the inevitable, and I didn't want Phoenix in pain any longer, so he came back.  Normally my vet is advocates fairly strongly for doing everything possible before putting a horse down, but not that night.

He went down peacefully and I was able to hold his head and thank him for being my best friend for the past 10 years. I was incredibly humbled when PO said that they would bury him in their back pasture, next to two of her horses that have passed. After my vet left PO, her husband, and I went into their party/game room where they have an actual full bar that used to be in a restaurant and drank some more while reminiscing. Phoenix had only lived out there since January, but they loved his as much as if he was their own. 

The past few days have been hard and I haven't slept much but I'll be ok.  I had a long visit with my BO who had been gone for two weeks the next day and then yesterday some other friends took me out for dinner.  I've mostly stopped crying when I think about him, expect for writing this. I'm sure it will hit me at random points, but that's ok.  I'm just happy that he's out of pain.

Sign Us Up

Continuing in the "just do it" mindset, I've sent in an entry for McKenna's first show. Right now we're just entered in two trot pole classes. But if all goes well and we don't completely loose our shit I'll add a cross rail class or two. 

My trainer may or may not be able to make it but my BO's dressage trainer BS is taking her gelding, who seems much happier as a jumper than a dressage horse. We're going to haul up the day before and school the ponies as it's the gelding's second jumper show and he's still green. So if McKenna kills me I'll have someone to haul us home!