Shooting the Messenger

MAJOR BARN DRAMA AHEAD:  FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS POST.  I HAD TO WRITE ABOUT IT TO FEEL BETTER

My BO had one of her horses put down today.  Kue was a 25yr old mare that my BO has had since she was 2.  She was supposed to be my BO's dressage horse, but a big pelvic injury at 3 ended that.  Because of the injury she has had lots of back/hind end problem and has started having trouble getting up and down. Last winter she really struggled with keeping weight on.  BO decided that she didn't want Kue to try and go through another winter.  The vet agreed, and they set a date.

I sent out a barn wide text, minus my BO, on Sunday telling everyone not to go to the barn this morning.  And to not bother the BO, to come to me or another boarder with any issues.  My BO is not touchy feely, and would much rather be left alone than deal with people's condolences.  And she knew some people probably wouldn't agree with  her decision. We only have 8 boarders, so it's not a huge group.  And of course a couple freaked out. 

Even though BO has been talking about this for months, they didn't know she had actually set a date. One went to our BO and the other turned on me.  After the first went to the BO I sent a somewhat snarky text basically stating not to do that. The second boarder, SH, accused me of telling her what to feel and that just because she doesn't own the horse doesn't mean she doesn't love her.  I have no idea how she got that out of my text, and I tried to explain that via text back to her.  Yesterday afternoon she cornered me at the barn and lit into me how she loves the horse, and it's wrong of me to tell her not to, and that this is a small barn and we're a family and family doesn't do that, and on and on.  I tried to explain to her that I only wanted people to not talk about it with BO, not that SH couldn't have feelings for Kue.  She didn't hear me and went off again and it eventually ended with us screaming at each other before I walked away.

I tossed and turned all night, pissed because I tried to do something nice to help BO and it blew up in my face.  I posted the above this morning on Facebook because I was mad and sleep deprived and it really touched me.  Not only because of this whole thing, but also issues at work.  SH sent me a text telling me to stop playing immature games and how it was rude and not honoring Kue's memory.  She told me not to be petty and to stop being pissed.  Ironically, everything she accused me of doing.  I told her this, and she went off again. I haven't said anything else, and at this point I don't know what TO say. I hope that once SH recovers from her grief she'll be able to see my side of this.  But right now, I really don't want to be at the barn. I haven't said a word of this to BO, and hoping SH doesn't.  This is exactly the last thing she needs to deal with.

Good Ol' 4H Fair (Or Damn Horse Show Drama)

Spent the last three days helping the girls from our barn at 4H Fair.  I'm pretty sure I'm more tired than they are.  At least they didn't have to deal with the dreaded horse show moms and associated drama.  I spent most of the time helping one girl in particular (A, aged 12) as her 4H leader (L) can't stand her or her grandmother (K, who is a wonderfully sweet and kind woman) and couldn't be bothered to do more than grunt at A.

K and A live about a mile from our barn, and haul in/use our lesson horses for lessons.  K just wants to trail ride and have fun, but A is 12 and fearless.  She's been taking weekly lessons from Jen and does wonderful.  She has an adorable Welsh pony, Owen, and does a little bit of everything with him.  This is her first year in 4H.

The 4H club at our barn was started last year by L,a boarder who now has 3 horses for her and her daughter. They mostly ride western, with some "English" thrown in. They were in a different club, but L felt like her daughter wasn't getting enough attention and started her own.  L can be your typical show mom; rude, insensitive, and insisting that her way is the best and her daughter is always right.  For the most part I tend to ignore L and let most of what she says roll off my back. 

L has been going through a divorce for the past six months, and her priorities have majorly shifted.  She started cancelling 4H meetings/rides to go hang out at the bars and meet guys. Her daughter stopped riding for a few moths and you could tell that both of them had lost the will for 4H.  But the show must go on and they pulled it together for fair.

Since L can't stand K (I'm not sure why, except jealousy that K has $$ while L doesn't) she told me that I was in charge of K and A for fair.  Fine by me as I get along really well with both of them.  A has some issues, but as long as you focus her and give her something to do she's a great kid.  Very smart, very intuitive and a great rider.  They got blues in showmanship, trail, and English eq with a red in western eq.

 A was pretty upset about the red and was crying. Her grandmother and I got her calmed down and while she was untacking her pony L walks up and starts in about what she did wrong.  A had very obviously been crying, puffy/red eyes, runny nose, and here's her "leader" verbally beating up on her.  It took everything I had to not loose it at L.  After she walked away, A lost it again and we had to calm her down.

L couldn't be bothered to congratulate A on her blues, and actually slept through one or two of A's classes. Since there were only 2 girls from our club competing at fair (Anna didn't take Phoenix since she didn't feel ready) it wasn't that hard to watch both of them go.  L was incredibly rude and tended to ignore both K and A for most of the 3 days, unless they could do something for her.  K had brought her very nice motor home to use as a base, cooked breakfast, lunch, and a dinner for everyone, and bought snacks and drinks.  I never heard a "thank you", or "can I help with anything" from L.

I've reached my limit with L and told K and A that I will help fix things for next year as L told me that she needs to find a way to "get rid of K and A".  Unfortunately there isn't another 4H group close by, so that leaves me the choice of trying to perform a coup and take over the group or start my own.  My barn owner and K support my decision either way. L normally helps with chores to offset her board but has (shockingly) been slacking lately and pissed off the BO.  I'm going to let everything sit for a while then decide what to do. 

Why do horses involve so much drama?!