Psychologist My Ass

The clinic didn't go as I thought it would. In fact it was about as opposite as it could get.  If that woman is a sports psychologist, or has even studied psychology at all, I'm Beezie Madden. She was one of those old school trainers that barked everything, insulted and put down me, my horse, and my tack.  All I can say is that I was very proud of myself for not crying during our ride, but I think that's because I was in shock.

According to her Peebs is spoiled, and the fact that he's been shown, even as a lesson horse, is just unthinkable. The pelham is just wrong, the chain was too long and the person who sold me the bit (I bought it at the local tack/feed store) needs to be shot. My monocrown bridle was awful and she didn't see the point.  She had me switch to a borrowed bridle and full cheek snaffle that actually worked pretty well for us, but we didn't jump in it.  I'm willing to try different bits with him, but in the past he's been pretty adamant that he likes the pelham. My polos were also wrong, both in the way I wrapped and the feel of them, and I should just throw them away.  She doesn't like my wide MDC stirrups and told some story about the guy who makes them. And finally my horse needs a breastplate.

My position was wrong.  My body type is going to make riding hard for me. I need more leg and to carry a stick. I couldn't correctly describe a circle, or excecute a serpentine correctly or turn across the diagonal. I changed my posting diagonal too early. She had me carry my hands much higher than I'm used to, locking my thumbs around each other with my elbows glued to my sides and shoulders back.  The second my hands came apart or my thumbs weren't up I was yelled at.  It was unthinkable that Peebs doesn't have a lead change, and I didn't know how to do a proper simple change.

As I said before, we didn't even jump except to walk over a raised pole.  We mostly trotted with a little canter because the first part of the ride was spent switching tack and telling why everything I had was awful. She did say I knew quite a lot about riding, and had potential, but I need more supervision and help with the finer points. She said she's used to doing clinics with people she already knows, that this was the first time she's opened up a clinic to riders outside the barn.  She's apparently going to be part of Judge My Ride, and wanted to see how "helping" riders she doesn't know would work out.  Let's just say I don't think it's going to go so well. 

Both of us were mentally and physically exhausted.  Sorry Peebs

I ended up leaving Peebs there overnight, planning to ride again Saturday but then after sleeping on it and talking to friends I said "F*ck this shit" and scratched.  My friend came with me on Saturday and talked to the clinic organizer while I grabbed Peebs from his stall and loaded him up. I think she told them I was sick, but I'm sure he knew the reason.  I'm sorry, but if you bill the clinic as something to help riders overcome their fears, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, have a clinician that will actually do that, not some barky, harsh, judgemental bitch who wants to put everyone down.  I felt humiliated driving home Friday night, but I've gotten over that.  I know I'm a good rider, I know how to wrap polos, I know what my horse needs and likes, I know I don't have that Big Eq body, but I try my best. I will take some to the blame for this as I should have done more homework on her before, to see what she was like because if I knew what I was getting into beforehand, I would never have signed up for this.  Live and learn.