Tia went in for her 30 day check up on Friday afternoon, and they weren't able to find the embryo. Sometime between day 16 and 31 she lost the pregnancy. I had been thinking that everything had been too easy, going too well and I was right. For an older mare, that has had reproductive issues in the past, I was shocked that she took on the first try and everything looked good at the first check.
I admit to crying the whole way home from the vet's. Which is about 5 minutes, but still. Once at the barn and after unloading Tia, I sat in the truck and cried some more while texting my mom and BO. The vet asked me if I wanted to try again, and I had said I didn't know. My fear is that we'll rebreed her and it'll happen again. At that point I was too upset to even think about trying again. I don't recommend trying to back up and park your trailer while crying; I might have almost hit another trailer. Damn tears make it hard to see.
I spent most of Friday night/Saturday morning crying and trying to figure out what I want to do. I looked up repro specialists and after talking with my mom, BO, and another boarder I decided to take Tia into another vet about an hour away and get her opinion. If she thinks Tia could hold a pregnancy we'll try again. If not, I think we're going to try embryo transfer. Our barn manager, LT, has offered her husband's trail mare up as a surrogate, pending vet approval.
It's expensive, but as my mom put it, not that much more than going out and buying another horse. And I don't want another horse, I want Tia's baby. I adore the mare and would love to have a piece of her for my own. If I could have bred Phoenix, Buddy, or Peebs I would have. It's not about having a fancy, upper level horse for me. It's about having a piece of a horse I love. I never plan to have human children; my horses are my kids and I didn't think I'd be so upset about losing Tia's foal. But it feels like I've lost part of my heart.