Shooting the Messenger

MAJOR BARN DRAMA AHEAD:  FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS POST.  I HAD TO WRITE ABOUT IT TO FEEL BETTER

My BO had one of her horses put down today.  Kue was a 25yr old mare that my BO has had since she was 2.  She was supposed to be my BO's dressage horse, but a big pelvic injury at 3 ended that.  Because of the injury she has had lots of back/hind end problem and has started having trouble getting up and down. Last winter she really struggled with keeping weight on.  BO decided that she didn't want Kue to try and go through another winter.  The vet agreed, and they set a date.

I sent out a barn wide text, minus my BO, on Sunday telling everyone not to go to the barn this morning.  And to not bother the BO, to come to me or another boarder with any issues.  My BO is not touchy feely, and would much rather be left alone than deal with people's condolences.  And she knew some people probably wouldn't agree with  her decision. We only have 8 boarders, so it's not a huge group.  And of course a couple freaked out. 

Even though BO has been talking about this for months, they didn't know she had actually set a date. One went to our BO and the other turned on me.  After the first went to the BO I sent a somewhat snarky text basically stating not to do that. The second boarder, SH, accused me of telling her what to feel and that just because she doesn't own the horse doesn't mean she doesn't love her.  I have no idea how she got that out of my text, and I tried to explain that via text back to her.  Yesterday afternoon she cornered me at the barn and lit into me how she loves the horse, and it's wrong of me to tell her not to, and that this is a small barn and we're a family and family doesn't do that, and on and on.  I tried to explain to her that I only wanted people to not talk about it with BO, not that SH couldn't have feelings for Kue.  She didn't hear me and went off again and it eventually ended with us screaming at each other before I walked away.

I tossed and turned all night, pissed because I tried to do something nice to help BO and it blew up in my face.  I posted the above this morning on Facebook because I was mad and sleep deprived and it really touched me.  Not only because of this whole thing, but also issues at work.  SH sent me a text telling me to stop playing immature games and how it was rude and not honoring Kue's memory.  She told me not to be petty and to stop being pissed.  Ironically, everything she accused me of doing.  I told her this, and she went off again. I haven't said anything else, and at this point I don't know what TO say. I hope that once SH recovers from her grief she'll be able to see my side of this.  But right now, I really don't want to be at the barn. I haven't said a word of this to BO, and hoping SH doesn't.  This is exactly the last thing she needs to deal with.